Daycare/Back-to-work RANT

I am SO frustrated and SO upset right now. And these words are SO inadequate to express what I'm really feeling: angry, scared, confused, worried, disappointed, anxious, depressed . . .

Guess what? I called the daycare today to see if Andrea was accepted for September. HA. The lady was quite nice, but she was sorry to inform me that there was NO space for Andrea, that it didn't look like anything would change soon, and we would be lucky to have a place there by January at the earliest. Oh, and by the way, Andrea's on the third page of the waiting list!

I am such an IDIOT!

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES:

1. SIGN YOUR CHILD UP FOR DAYCARE THE DAY YOU FIND OUT YOU ARE PREGNANT. I am not exaggerating. I know people who have put the baby on a daycare list way before they are born, as "Baby (insert last name here)." It works. We didn't do that. Look what happened.
2. HAVE A BACK-UP DAYCARE PLAN, OR APPLY TO SEVERAL DAYCARE CENTRES. Makes sense, doesn't it? Don't make the mistake of counting on one centre to come through for you, even if you've been on the waiting list for a year or so. DON'T do what we did!

***

Quite frankly, this situation just SUCKS. Even if we're lucky enough to get someone to babysit for us a few days a week, it still messes up my going back to work. I really wanted to go back 5 days a week because a) it's obviously more money, and would likely outweigh childcare costs in the long run (especially with the new Canadian monthly childcare benefit) and b) as an Occasional (supply) Teacher, I'd be able to apply for a Long-Term position, potentially being able to work for full-time pay for up to a year. For that matter, c) having another messed-up year within our school board is likely going to put the final nail in the coffin of my potential chances of earning a permanent position! (Remember: 2004-2005: I resigned the one Long-Term after three weeks, and went off sick for much of my pregnancy, so barely taught for 3 months; 2005-2006: off the whole year on maternity leave. 2006-2007: ???)

And on the subject of Long-Terms, the postings went up yesterday for the ones available in September, and frankly, they are amazingly few and far between in my subject areas. In 2004, I was able to apply for five postings. In 2006, there are three English postings total, and each has a problem with it. The best prospect (I'm using the term "best" very loosely) is . . . well . . . at guess which school? The one I resigned from in 2004, of course! Even if they didn't laugh at my application to work with them again, I would never accept another long-term there! It's two years later, and I figured it out--I'd be teaching the same group of students I had last time. NO WAY!

***

I know the work-related rant might not seem to affect Andrea, but it does. If I'm not happy with my career, I'm going to bring that home with me. I'm not the type of person who can just brush things off.

And in terms of the possibility of giving up work and staying home--well, it's just not possible. Not for the type of lifestyle I want for myself and my family.

Speaking of family, I'd like to have another baby within a few years, too. Children, as much as we love them, are very expensive little creatures. Staying home, or working part-time, do not seem like options to me right now, because I need to put some savings away for the things I'd like to have in the future. And that includes a sibling for Andrea.

***

You might think I'm overreacting, and I've got myself skidding down a slippery-slope of hypothetical fallout of Andrea not getting into daycare. But that's how my brain works. I'm a planner. I think ahead. I need to get the worst-case scenarios out in words so I can analyse them and prepare for the worst. It's just how I do things.

***

In closing:

• Learn from my mistakes.
• My mom says I get all freaked out like this, every August, before school starts. And she claims things always fall together just right for me. Well, I sure hope she's right!
• Daycare availability in Canada sucks. Thanks, Canadian Government, for the extra $100 a month; but I really need a quality daycare centre to be available for my daughter, so I can go back to work!